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PapaBear.OR
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Mocking The Media
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Every year we read some of the most ridiculous, un-informed tripe from media around the league............. and some of it is so outlandishly stupid I thought it deserved a thread of it's own to make fun of it's authors. 

 

This year is no different and so I will start us out with this precious nugget written by Rotoworld's own Patrick Daugherty following last season.  In hindsight no less this dipchit rates the 2018 best GMs and puts Ryan Pace at 23!  TWENTY THREE!!!?  The list of teams GMs he places ahead of the Bears Pace is freaking histerical enough that I had to check three times to assure myself this was not written before the season started. Here is what numb nuts Patrick has to say about Ryan Pace:

23. Ryan Pace, Bears

At long last, Ryan Pace has the Bears pointed in the right direction. There is still much work to be done. Pace has rid himself of Jeff Fisher lite in John Fox, replacing him with Doug Pederson lite in Matt Nagy. To work with, Nagy has second-year quarterback Mitchell Trubisky, a 2017 trade up target who did not disappoint as a rookie but hardly set the world on fire. One reason was how little he had to work with. That’s on Pace, who let Alshon Jeffery walk and replaced him with an embarrassing assortment of also-rans. To Pace’s credit, he’s worked hard to change that this offseason, signing Allen Robinson, play-making tight end Trey Burton and big-play specialist Taylor Gabriel. He also drafted impressive college compiler Anthony Miller at No. 51. Of course, this was after Pace seemed to miscalculate restricted free agent Cameron Meredith’s market, losing him to the Saints after using only an original-round tender. Pace also did little to improve his shaky pass rush or offensive line. That’s not a cardinal sin. There’s only so much you can accomplish in one spring. The problem is that Pace let himself accumulate so many needs to begin with. He needs Trubisky and Nagy to springboard a fourth-year turnaround.     

https://www.rotoworld.com/article/goal-line-stand/nfls-best-gms-2018

Really Patrick?  You write this in Feb. of this year?  2019?  What in the FUCK?  Seriously, did you even watch a game or check the stats or news from 2018?  Perhaps you missed the news.  THIS JUST IN jackass, Ryan pace did more than a 'little' to improve his "shaky pass rush" you blind ass window licking shit for brains.  And last time I checked he made a few additions to the O line that yielded some results as well.

Patrick Daugherty seems just a little out of touch. How the hell does this nitwit even get published?  Does Rotoworld even read this stuff before they push the print button?  Maybe they should consider doing a quick background check on their authors cause I'm guessing this tards birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

WoW.

Calbrooks
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Re: Mocking The Media
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PapaBear.OR wrote:

birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

That line alone makes this post great.... lost coffee on that one.

Train like you are 2nd, but play like you are 1st.

BamaBear09
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Re: Mocking The Media
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I think that article was from last year... it was last updated this year but it has to be from last year with the info included for each GM

PapaBear.OR
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Re: Mocking The Media
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BamaBear09 wrote:

I think that article was from last year... it was last updated this year but it has to be from last year with the info included for each GM

Rotoworlds editors may want to let Patrdick know what they mean by "update" I guess.  Even if it was originally written before the season it's still pretty damn funny how far off it was.......... makes ya kinda wonder what it looked like before it was updated.

Butkus never wore an earring

PapaBear.OR
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Ok so Bama got me thinking and I felt compelled to do a little more research on Patrick and these "updated" articles of his.  Now I could not figure out how or where to find the original publishing date on these things.  Patty cranks a lot these ratings out...... many to most of them show an "updated" date.  One of the most recent is this one:

https://www.rotoworld.com/article/goal-line-stand/nfls-best-coaches-2019

"Updated yesterday March 5th"

Found via a link in this article:

https://247sports.com/nfl/carolina-panthers/Article/Ron-Rivera-Top-10-NFL-Coach-Rotoworld-2019-129737679/

Dated yesterday.by an author bragging on his Panthers coach making the top 10. (Nagy does not make this top 10 but Tomlin, and Zimmer do.

SOOoooooooo, I'm gonna stick to my first conclusion that sports journalists like Patrick Daugherty don't grow on trees..... they swing from them.  As authors go, Gawd wasted a perfectly good asshole when he put teeth in this guys mouth.

Butkus never wore an earring

PapaBear.OR
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Re: Mocking The Media
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NFL Teams Destined to Disappoint in 2019

Marcus Mosher March 7, 2019

Nearly every year, half the teams that made the previous season's playoffs don't return the following season.

Usually, it isn't hard to find regression candidates. They are typically the squads that won nearly every close game or had unbelievable luck go their way.

Here are the five teams who are destined to disappoint in 2019.

Chicago Bears

The Chicago Bears were one of the NFL's most surprising success stories last year. They went from 5-11 in 2017 to winning 12 games and the NFC North title. However, they'll regress for several reasons.

The most obvious is they'll play a first-place schedule rather than a last-place one. Their two games against same-place finishers include a home contest against the New Orleans Saints and a road tilt against the Los Angeles Rams. While the Bears are on the same level as those teams, they'll be tough matchups.

Still, defensive issues could outweigh all that. The Bears had the top-ranked scoring defense in 2018, allowing just 17.7 points per game. But with defensive coordinator Vic Fangio gone to Denver, the group could take a slight hit in 2019.

Even more concerning is the potential takeaway regression. Chicago had 36 of them in 2018—five more than the next team (Cleveland Browns). If that number dips even a little, it could be the difference in a few wins.

The Bears are in one of football's most competitive divisions, and it wouldn't be a surprise if that catches up with them. Expect Chicago to be in the playoff hunt but to drop off some next season.

https://bleacherreport.com/articles/2823041-nfl-teams-destined-to-disappoint-in-2019#slide0

Really Marcus?  I thought for sure after your introduction to this article you were going to point out how the Bears "won nearly every close game or had unbelievable luck go their way", you know, since it's so easy for you "to find regression candidates".  I would of thought I might find some inside information as to why the other NFL North teams would gain leverage on the Bears this year or some research based logic to put the Bears on this list of top five teams "destined to dissapoint".

Instead you give us this Marcus.  This half baked dog turd of a crap fest of weak conjecture.  Let me play this back in my own words to be sure I understand, you think its obvious the Bears will disappoint first, because they earned a 1st place schedule?  Then you go on to enlighten us as to the tough teams on that schedule, one happens to be the same freakun team we played on our "last place"schedule last season, the other the team that team beat to get to the SB.  Brilliant!  You even note that the Bears are on the same level as those teams.  No shit Sherlock they beat the Rams last season and provided the blueprint for the Pats to beat them in the SB.

Ok so next you tell us the defensive "issues outweigh all that"!   Oh my due tell, oh the best defense on the planet "could take a slight hit"?  A slight hit!!!  OHHH NOOOO.  Holy shit that is insightful!  OMG.  You really got me worried now Marcus.

Wait there's more?  Ruh Roh, "potential takeaway regression"?  Holy crap that sounds technical.  You must of spent days researching that. It must of really taxed your hard drive to run the math on that and share those eye popping results. So if that number, the one you copy pasted from the stat chart, 36, "dips even a little" we are in Biiiiiiiiig TROUBLE!?!  Good to know shit-fer-brains.  Don't forget to tell that to every team that didn't get that many turnovers which is every other fucking team in the NFL.  They need to know they didn't make the playoffs last season and won't again this year.

I did some research of my own and found out how many people work at Bleacher Report.  Turns out the answer is less than half.  We can clearly see which half you are in now Marcus.

Butkus never wore an earring

The Shadow
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POST COUNT: 9050
Re: Mocking The Media
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PapaBear.OR wrote:

NFL Teams Destined to Disappoint in 2019

Marcus Mosher March 7, 2019

Nearly every year, half the teams that made the previous season's playoffs don't return the following season.

Usually, it isn't hard to find regression candidates. They are typically the squads that won nearly every close game or had unbelievable luck go their way.

Here are the five teams who are destined to disappoint in 2019.

Chicago Bears

The Chicago Bears were one of the NFL's most surprising success stories last year. They went from 5-11 in 2017 to winning 12 games and the NFC North title. However, they'll regress for several reasons.

The most obvious is they'll play a first-place schedule rather than a last-place one. Their two games against same-place finishers include a home contest against the New Orleans Saints and a road tilt against the Los Angeles Rams. While the Bears are on the same level as those teams, they'll be tough matchups.

Still, defensive issues could outweigh all that. The Bears had the top-ranked scoring defense in 2018, allowing just 17.7 points per game. But with defensive coordinator Vic Fangio gone to Denver, the group could take a slight hit in 2019.

Even more concerning is the potential takeaway regression. Chicago had 36 of them in 2018—five more than the next team (Cleveland Browns). If that number dips even a little, it could be the difference in a few wins.

The Bears are in one of football's most competitive divisions, and it wouldn't be a surprise if that catches up with them. Expect Chicago to be in the playoff hunt but to drop off some next season.

https://bleacherreport.com/articles/2823041-nfl-teams-destined-to-disappoint-in-2019#slide0

Really Marcus?  I thought for sure after your introduction to this article you were going to point out how the Bears "won nearly every close game or had unbelievable luck go their way", you know, since it's so easy for you "to find regression candidates".  I would of thought I might find some inside information as to why the other NFL North teams would gain leverage on the Bears this year or some research based logic to put the Bears on this list of top five teams "destined to dissapoint".

Instead you give us this Marcus.  This half baked dog turd of a crap fest of weak conjecture.  Let me play this back in my own words to be sure I understand, you think its obvious the Bears will disappoint first, because they earned a 1st place schedule?  Then you go on to enlighten us as to the tough teams on that schedule, one happens to be the same freakun team we played on our "last place"schedule last season, the other the team that team beat to get to the SB.  Brilliant!  You even note that the Bears are on the same level as those teams.  No shit Sherlock they beat the Rams last season and provided the blueprint for the Pats to beat them in the SB.

Ok so next you tell us the defensive "issues outweigh all that"!   Oh my due tell, oh the best defense on the planet "could take a slight hit"?  A slight hit!!!  OHHH NOOOO.  Holy shit that is insightful!  OMG.  You really got me worried now Marcus.

Wait there's more?  Ruh Roh, "potential takeaway regression"?  Holy crap that sounds technical.  You must of spent days researching that. It must of really taxed your hard drive to run the math on that and share those eye popping results. So if that number, the one you copy pasted from the stat chart, 36, "dips even a little" we are in Biiiiiiiiig TROUBLE!?!  Good to know shit-fer-brains.  Don't forget to tell that to every team that didn't get that many turnovers which is every other fucking team in the NFL.  They need to know they didn't make the playoffs last season and won't again this year.

I did some research of my own and found out how many people work at Bleacher Report.  Turns out the answer is less than half.  We can clearly see which half you are in now Marcus.

So, Marcus figures Kahlil Mack will fall off the earth and come nowhere near his 6 Forced Fumbles or get a pick 6. Hakeem Hicks won't get 3 Forced Fumbles either. Just those two guys accounted for 10 turnovers themselves. So Fangio leaving is going to make those two guys become ordinary journeymen? We won't even get into Kyle Fullers League leading 7 Interceptions. Eddie Jacksons 6 Interceptions. Or the record 9 additional players who scored at least 1 Interception.

I mean come on, man! Do you even watch football?

Having a lot of tools does not make you a Carpenter.  -Vic Fangio

 

Calbrooks
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Cause Mack was nothing before Vic....

Train like you are 2nd, but play like you are 1st.

PapaBear.OR
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NFL analyst suggests Bears sign Le'Veon Bell
By Matt Eurich 2 hours ago

The Chicago Bears are closer to a Super Bowl title now than they have been in nearly a decade. The team has won just one Super Bowl and has only appeared in two Super Bowls in NFL history. With the team's Super Bowl window currently wide open, the organization should do everything it can to maximize its potential.

The running back position for the Bears has been a hot topic as of late and a report earlier in the week suggested the team has fielded some offers for Jordan Howard. He has been viewed as not a good fit for the organization since Matt Nagy's hiring and the Bears could be looking to upgrade the position. One of the biggest names set to be on the free agent market at the position is Le'Veon Bell. The talented back sat out all of last season with the Pittsburgh Steelers after not getting the deal he believed he deserved.

Long-time NFL writer and host, Pat Kirwan, recently mentioned on SiriusXM NFL Radio that Bell makes a lot of sense for the Bears.

"Why would I do it," Kirwan said. "No. 1, he's an extremely dynamic player and your a team with the arrow pointing up. You've got a head coach that has already developed a culture overnight in there and he's got a good staff around him. The player would be on offense so that means he would be answering directly to Matt. No. 2, you don't have a pick until 87(th overall). 86 players are going to leave before you go."

The Bears are going to have limited opportunities to add dynamic players to the roster in the draft, so free agency will be the organization's best chance to do so. The real issue here will be the money. The Steelers applied the franchise tag to Bell last offseason and that would have paid him $14.5 million. He missed the entire season believing he was worthy of a long-term deal.

According to Spotrac, the Bears currently have around $15.6 million in cap space. That is going to make it difficult for them to try to acquire someone like Bell. The team also has decisions to make on safety Adrian Amos and nickelback Bryce Callahan and it has to figure in the cost of its own draft class in terms of cap space. For Kirwan, he believes the juice is worth the squeeze in this scenario.

"When do you take this kind of risk," Kirwan asked. "Do you never take it because we don't think that way? Do you take it when you're ready to go over the top? Is this a team in the mind of Matt Nagy and ownership and GM that's ready for a Super Bowl run? Because if you think the answer to that question is yes, then maybe it's time for Le'Veon Bell."

He is an ideal fit for what the Bears want to do in the running game, but considering what Bell will likely cost, he does not make a whole lot of sense for the Bears, regardless of where they stand in terms of their Super Bowl window.

https://247sports.com/nfl/chicago-bears/Article/LeVeon-Bell-Bears-free-agency-suggestion-129847209/

I'm just going to read a little between the lines here and come out and say what Matt Eurich is too polite to say.  Pat Kirwan is a bit of a dipstick, I use that term because I don't want to call him stupid and insult all the stupid people. I mean I know math is hard, but cheese n tap dancing CHRIST Pat, how the hell could the Bears even remotely consider making room in the cap for a guy set to make over 14 MILLION dollars a year never mind the fact he is clearly a trouble making mal-content? 

Since math is so hard for you Pat let me help you out, they say all that you are you owe to your parents. Send your's a nickle and that should square the account. I mean, you are either really lazy at your job, or you've got the IQ of lint. I know you are nobody’s fool Pat................. but maybe someone will adopt you.

Butkus never wore an earring

bearslife
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Re: Mocking The Media
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PapaBear.OR wrote:

NFL analyst suggests Bears sign Le'Veon Bell
By Matt Eurich 2 hours ago

The Chicago Bears are closer to a Super Bowl title now than they have been in nearly a decade. The team has won just one Super Bowl and has only appeared in two Super Bowls in NFL history. With the team's Super Bowl window currently wide open, the organization should do everything it can to maximize its potential.

The running back position for the Bears has been a hot topic as of late and a report earlier in the week suggested the team has fielded some offers for Jordan Howard. He has been viewed as not a good fit for the organization since Matt Nagy's hiring and the Bears could be looking to upgrade the position. One of the biggest names set to be on the free agent market at the position is Le'Veon Bell. The talented back sat out all of last season with the Pittsburgh Steelers after not getting the deal he believed he deserved.

Long-time NFL writer and host, Pat Kirwan, recently mentioned on SiriusXM NFL Radio that Bell makes a lot of sense for the Bears.

"Why would I do it," Kirwan said. "No. 1, he's an extremely dynamic player and your a team with the arrow pointing up. You've got a head coach that has already developed a culture overnight in there and he's got a good staff around him. The player would be on offense so that means he would be answering directly to Matt. No. 2, you don't have a pick until 87(th overall). 86 players are going to leave before you go."

The Bears are going to have limited opportunities to add dynamic players to the roster in the draft, so free agency will be the organization's best chance to do so. The real issue here will be the money. The Steelers applied the franchise tag to Bell last offseason and that would have paid him $14.5 million. He missed the entire season believing he was worthy of a long-term deal.

According to Spotrac, the Bears currently have around $15.6 million in cap space. That is going to make it difficult for them to try to acquire someone like Bell. The team also has decisions to make on safety Adrian Amos and nickelback Bryce Callahan and it has to figure in the cost of its own draft class in terms of cap space. For Kirwan, he believes the juice is worth the squeeze in this scenario.

"When do you take this kind of risk," Kirwan asked. "Do you never take it because we don't think that way? Do you take it when you're ready to go over the top? Is this a team in the mind of Matt Nagy and ownership and GM that's ready for a Super Bowl run? Because if you think the answer to that question is yes, then maybe it's time for Le'Veon Bell."

He is an ideal fit for what the Bears want to do in the running game, but considering what Bell will likely cost, he does not make a whole lot of sense for the Bears, regardless of where they stand in terms of their Super Bowl window.

https://247sports.com/nfl/chicago-bears/Article/LeVeon-Bell-Bears-free-agency-suggestion-129847209/

I'm just going to read a little between the lines here and come out and say what Matt Eurich is too polite to say.  Pat Kirwan is a bit of a dipstick, I use that term because I don't want to call him stupid and insult all the stupid people. I mean I know math is hard, but cheese n tap dancing CHRIST Pat, how the hell could the Bears even remotely consider making room in the cap for a guy set to make over 14 MILLION dollars a year never mind the fact he is clearly a trouble making mal-content? 

Since math is so hard for you Pat let me help you out, they say all that you are you owe to your parents. Send your's a nickle and that should square the account. I mean, you are either really lazy at your job, or you've got the IQ of lint. I know you are nobody’s fool Pat................. but maybe someone will adopt you.

Exactly Papa, these writers in the offseason are either so bored they will just print up any shit they can think of and see what gets them hits. This Bell write up is the latest in the long line of stupid off season articles. Almost all media that is at least half ass credible is stating they don't see the beloved being able to keep both Amos and Callahan because lack of funds but this shit for brains thinks they should go after Bell. My advice for this and any of these other idiots is stick to what you know best and by the looks of it what they do best is play Madden way to much

"don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining" outlaw josey wales

Calbrooks
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Re: Mocking The Media
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NFL teams always spend much of the offseason looking over their payroll and figuring out how to allocate their available funds. Almost every organization has someone on the roster who is being paid too much, and the ​Chicago Bears are no exception (they're not perfect!).

Bleacher Report claimed this week that ​Kyle Long was the player on the team being paid too much for his services (even after restructuring his deal this offseason), and the Bears' offensive lineman had an amazing response to the shade thrown his way. 

Shoutout my agent https://t.co/FEp4mE5XgJ

— Kyle Long (@Ky1eLong) March 9, 2019

Rather than get upset at the insult, Long opted to laugh about it and shout out the parties responsible.

If Long is being overpaid, that's not his problem, as his agent was able to navigate him the two-year, $12 million deal he signed, a ​restructured deal that he hopes will enable him to a Bear for life. 

*****

https://www.12up.com/posts/6316205-kyle-long-has-hilarious-response-to-being-named-most-overpaid-player-on-bears

Seemed an appropriate place to share Long mocking the media himself. I really hope he can finally shake the injury bug, he is the defination of what a Bears player should be.

Train like you are 2nd, but play like you are 1st.

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